What's networking really?

I am seated at the Willingdon and see an old acquaintance from my agency days (that lasted all of 4 months) and walk up to him. He greets me with surprise, shock, happiness, and lotsa big hugs and many many questions. Turns out he is now heading marketing for a well known company and is very excited to know that I have also been part of the same field for some time. I join him at his table and we gulp down a couple of beers; he introduces me to his friends and his lovely wife, who happens to run an event agency; turns out I am need of an event agency...so would she like to come meet me at work next week? Lo and behold! A working relationship has begun on a lazy Sunday afternoon by the pool side of a club. Did I just network?

Everyday we meet so many people. In transit, at restaurants  at movie halls, at parties - some we already know and most we don't, so when is it really networking? I know him, he knows her, so in the end I may get to know her too. When you meet someone you knew at one time or when you walk up to someone and start off a conversation when the person sees like someone you may want to get to know? It's both actually. It is about starting, maintaining and keeping relationships built in various settings and guiding them in a professional manner to ensure not only you but also the other party gets something positive out of the relationship.

Unfortunately in India networking isn't easy for women, thanks to all the social stigmas attached to a woman approaching a man and striking up a conversation (let's face it, this country has a much higher male workforce than female). It is very difficult to strike up a random conversation with a stranger unless you are at some common ground...such as an event or party that you have both been invited to. But I believe that it all depends upon how and where you approach the person. Let's say I am waiting for a friend at TGIF by the bar and there is a guy standing next to me and we exchange hellos. It will depend upon me if I decide to proceed with a conversation in a bar like setting or not. Usually conversations in such places are taken to be of personal nature, so it would be smarter of me to refrain from taking any further step if I am looking at professional networking. Now let's say I am at the airport in the lounge waiting for my flight and at the buffet table or coffee counter, I bump into another fellow traveler - it will be totally fine to say hello and start up a conversation and exchange cards.

Networking is not just about saying hello's and exchanging business cards. It is also about foreseeing any possibility of working together, common interests, learning experiences, knowledge gathering, etc. that may lead to opportunities at work and keeping in touch accordingly. It is important to follow through when someone, especially someone who is influential or in a stronger position professionally, asks you to schedule a meeting/bridge building/call. If you are looking at obtaining any knowledge (or work related contact) about that person's industry then it is totally up to you to keep in touch. Dropping a "hello email" or sending an invite for an event your company is hosting  are considered professional and OK. If you haven't met the person in an informal setting, don't even try to invite them over for dinner at your place (and if you invite someone you did meet informally; then make sure you invite a couple of other people too so as to make this new acquaintance comfortable).

Not every person you meet will turn into a usable contact immediately. At times you won't even know or realize but years later someone you met through a friend may become the person who gives you a tip about an excellent job opportunity or hires you even. So it is therefore very important to try and NOT burn bridges. If you do end up burning a bridge then be sure about it before you do the deed; there is rarely a case where it fences can be mended.

Networking shouldn't be taken too seriously  If you go out with the objective to network you could come across desperate or aggressive even; go with the flow. There is no hurry. You will make your presence felt and find the right contacts only when you are true to yourself and assert your confidence in the way you deem fit.

So go on...get outta here...go NETWORK!

Dear Sophie...this is your year...as a woman!

Hi, I realized this morning that I hadn't yet posted my resolve for the year onto my blog. Considering 2012 ended on such a gut wrenching note for all women in India, I had to re-post this from my FB page over here. So here goes...

Dear Sophie,

It is the 3rd day of the year and I thought you should think of what you resolve to do and not do. But then I realized that there is so much of pressure on you every year that you add to it with these resolutions, so wouldn't it be better to just NOT decide anything and REMEMBER things?

So I suggest just 3 things: 
1. don't over think
2. live each day as it comes (it could be your last), and
3. respect yourself for being a woman (you are lucky to be born as one...and let NO ONE let you feel otherwise).

I know life is busy...but don't forget Amanat and the other girls/women who are being brutalized every day. Even if friends and other tell you to stop your morbid/angry posts...DON'T...if you remain angry and demand something maybe some guy will hear and change one thing about himself.

At every opportunity you get, make noise about being a woman and DEMAND your rights! In every little action you do today and everyday...show that you love your gender and be proud of the other women around you. Don't be jealous when another sister does well...be proud of her and of yourself through her. Love your sisters around you...

This is your year Sophie...as a woman...make it count!

Me

RAPE.

It is a horrifying word. It scares every young girl, every woman, every mother, sister, friend. It is the worst form of violence against a woman. It is not about sex. It is about power. Or as another blogger put it...it is about assertion NOT insertion.

Are you scared? I am. I am very scared. 

Sad isn't it? A young 23 year old has been made into a hero when she wasn't even given a choice to be one. She was attacked and left to die (after going through minutes and hours of brutal torture) on the streets of Delhi while the rest of us slept safely in our homes. I think about it...I refuse to close my eyes and look away or not read the reports because I want to know, because I want others to know. She didn't ASK for it. No woman...not even a prostitute...ASKS to be raped. The media has begun reporting many more cases over the past few and days and it shocks me that I live in a country like this. A country that prays to so many goddesses and has so many temples in their name and yet brutally attacks its women.

I say teach the men who haven't yet become rapists. Treat us women equal to yourself and then see if we get raped. The morning when a mother gives her son a choice of his favorite breakfast and leaves her daughter out, that morning she creates inequality in his mind. Every day a woman is smirked at when she raises her voice against an eve teaser, that day inequality raises its head. When a young girl can't wear clothes of her choice because she is scared of being leered at, that day inequality wins.And what do we do with those who have raped? Kill them! Castrate them! Cut off their hands! Rape is not excusable. DO SOMETHING!

I appeal to the women out there, when you are out and about and you ever see a sister in need, reach out. Don't entertain any negative comments about another woman. Don't treat your daughter's differently than your son. Don't treat your daughter-in-law like an enemy. Don't bitch about your female friends. Don't pass judgement on a girl who doesn't look the way you think she should. Stand up for your gender.

This death...the death of a child of 23...let it not go in vain!

I am a dented and painted woman. And I will raise my voice every day as long as I live on behalf of Amanat!

2013 Grammys...WILD WILD SOUTH!

The nominations are out and I am totally floored by the number of Country musicians who have been nominated this year. Let me be honest...I have had a thing for Country music since I lived in Texas (shhh!!!). It has been my dirty lil secret and only in the confines of my car with the windows rolled up I'd listen to Martina, Reba and Faith. But gone are those days! Yes! I do know that Elvis started off with Country and there have been some great post that...but the kind of mass following that the KING had hasn't been seen since. Country is treated the way Canada is by most Americans...with a smirk and a limerick! 

So it's very encouraging to see how the past 3 years have shaped this genre. CMAs are now as exciting as the Grammys! Country music has come of age and how. I wonder what Willy Nelson thinks of the young lot of singers who have jumped boundaries and are experimenting with a totally different sounding style of Country. Taylor Swift and Carrie Underwood who made Country acceptable by youngsters, have to be given credit here for breaking the shackles and opening up this genre of music to the world. Though Taylor has to be awarded for her music that broke through the clutter and with its rhythm that borders on Country-Pop-Rock (yes you do here the Tamborine and Mandolin in the background here and then) and made Country cool. The music she belts out is fun, alive and yes! has the drawl of the South. 

Apart from Taylor, Lady Antelbelum created a new space for themselves with Country music that was so Rock that it totally blew you away. Since then there have been many who have just come into being or have been recognized finally! Blake Shelton now is a co-host on The Voice, Brad Paisley is finally getting his due (move over Tim McGraw), Hunter Hayes (the Justin Beiber of Country) is so talented (I keep listening to his 'somebody to break my heart' on loop...lovely voice!!), FloridaGeorgia Line with their dark, romantic country songs, Ed Sheeran with his amazing lyrics (MY CONSTANT COMPANION AT WORK NOW)....have taken over the world of music by storm.

So here's raising a BEER to Country! All the best at the Grammys. Kick some Yankee Butt (WINK)!!! HHHEEEHAAWWWW!!!

Is Coffee going to be extinct soon??!!!! WHAT A SUCKY DAY!

I get into work and pop into the tini-tiny cafeteria to whip up my 'pheta hua' coffee every morning and then plop down on my chair to look at what needs to be done. This morning when I switched on my comp and went to CNN which is the first site I open...I found a very interesting article on iOT...internet of things...which is becoming THE thing for China to overtake the world in...(as if they need to make an effort!) when I found this article on the chances of the Coffee bean goingthe Dinosaur way!!!! (Link: http://www.redorbit.com/news/video/the-daily-orbit/1112728982/coffee-arabica-global-warming-extinct-110912/)

So apparently the wild Arabica which is the second of the only 2 coffee beans used to make the coffee in your mugs this morning is endangered. Global warming which has led to the rise in temperatures will cause this bean to go extinct in the next 70 odd years. Now this sucks! Imagine a life without caffeine! As if that wasn't enough I got to know about the smallest independent island republic of Nauru in the Pacific which is now sinking thanks to the same global warming brought about by the use and abuse of this planet by the worst animal to inhabit it...HUMANS!

The day has just begun and I am reading all sorts of bad news from everywhere around the world. Food prices are soaring thanks to this year's horrible weather and low grain yields. Inflation is very high and even earning well in a city like Mumbai is crippling...so I can only imagine what the poor and lower middle class must be going through. The economic pyramid is making the rich, richer and increasing the gap between the poor and middle class. Though the Indian economy has a very string middle and upper middle class which is also growing but with the cost of living going up I wonder if the definition of these two will change soon.

Philippines was struck by a typhoon that had left many dead and homeless. As if Sandy wasn't enough, mother earth is reacting and how. the last 5 years have seen the worst natural calamities and disasters. War is on everywhere you go. Be it the US and it's war on terrorism via attacks on Iraq and now a very tense situation with Iran or be it the middle east where Palestine and Israel fight for occupation of land. India and Pakistan though now calm are ticking bombs ready to explode. Egypt is a mess and so is Syria! 

Sucky day to be human! Time for a Margarita!

Hope tomorrow is better.

I am Woman...hear me ROAR...and Yes I love PINK!

In 1955 when Ford launched it's Pink mobile all glamoured up and ready for the women of that generation, they had to pull it off the market in barely a year. Cut to 2012, Honda just launched She's (yes, in Pink!!) with features that have been made for women (with air conditioning and windshields made for our lovely sensitive skin) and touted to help Honda grab a foothold in the industry (where it is currently slipping). The world of doing business especially selling has changed. The primary target audience is no more male, affluent, urban and cosmopolitan. It now includes the female too and stretches across. 

In a country that gets its 99% of sales in beer from men, international spirits (bottled in origin) are creating marketing opportunities by reaching out to the female population by encouraging a cocktail culture complete with the frills of women's nights, themed events/parties and even colorful party packs (did you see what Bacardi Breezer has made?). While vodka companies host parties by the pool with sexy cocktails in vibrant colors and encourage young women to come pick theirs, JW Blue Label has made whiskey sexy for women by creating the Blue Manhattan which has gained popularity among women. 

This past decade has belonged to two important segments of consumers  - women and emerging markets. Everyday women across the world are achieving great feats, small or big. Their thinking is changing. From winning Nobels ( Leymah Gbowee, the Liberian activist who last year won the Nobel Peace Prize) to crossing the arctic alone on skis in 59 days; or designing and creating sustainable eco friendly fashion, women across the world have given women elsewhere many reasons to feel proud of their gender. Now top that off with being a woman from an emerging market and you know what I am talking about. This decade has seen a huge shift in cultural paradigm amongst women across professions, age and economic strata in India. Independence, ambition, right to choose, have all become important aspects of a woman's life. Conventions have been broken and with the access to the world being made easy via affordable high speed internet, social media networking thanks to Facebook and Twitter, Indian women are far more exposed to the exciting world out there and to their sisters in different lands. Things have changed, unconventional is appreciated and admired. Be it creating a business opportunity where none existed (in gardening by My Sunny Balcony) in Bangalore; or acting in a highly risque movie about a sex siren of Indian cinema and winning a national award (Vidya Balan as Silk Smitha in Dirty Picture) the Indian woman of the 21st Century has changed the way she is perceived.


Get onto Amazon and you find a wide range of books targetted towards it's woman consumers, but what's encouraging is a similar trend on Flipkart in India. Online shopping is being made attractive for women consumers in India by sites such as Jabong and luxury products sites such as Fashion and You. Oriflame that has been in the country for the last 20 years and is now growing at 35% YOY as per a recent article and Avon isn't far behind. Tupperware had a slow start but is now gaining market share especially in Northern India by tapping into the mini societies where women are the target audience (for obvious reasons). Kaya Skin Clinic taps into kitty parties in Chandigarh and Ludhiana to introduce it's services to this highly influential and willing consumer group.

India has a hige consumer market on the verge of a retail explosion thanks to FDI in the sector. There are many choices for women in every category of products and services. For a highly discerning consumer that we Indians pride in being, companies are now making an added effort to find the need and fill the gap. Brittania and Safola have brought in masala oats and Safola goes a step further to target the calorie conscious Indian woman in it's recent TVC; Car companies now have a woman in the passenger seat with the 'male partner' making sure that she is happy with his choice - they get it now, women are the decision makers in a big way in Indian households; Airtel, Vodafone all have women as a huge part of their campaigns. Whisper has taken it a step further by designing sanitary pads for a woman's new lifestyle and by talking openly about it, Stayfree goes the CSR way and donates INR 1 to a foundation targeting a woman's cause in villages!

The Indian woman is a consumer who has finally been recognized. She is now being addressed as an individual and not as a collective (part of a couple or family).  She is no more the individual you sold only soaps and detergents to; she is now an untapped 'market' and is being quoted in the same breath as the emerging markets of the world. It is an exciting new India out here and to be a marketeer watching this change and being part of it is a dream come true . This is the best time to be Indian and an even better to be an Indian woman.

Links:
1. http://edition.cnn.com/2012/11/27/business/japan-cars-females/index.html?hpt=ibu_c2
2. http://edition.cnn.com/2012/10/11/world/africa/nobel-peace-prize-leymah-gbowee/index.html?iid=article_sidebar
3. http://edition.cnn.com/2012/10/05/travel/felicity-aston-antarctic-explorer/index.html?iid=article_sidebar

Men and the Weight Gain Tamasha!

I was out having drinks with friends when one of my guy friends commented on how chubby my face looked...and that I resembled PSY!!!! 2 days later another guy friend pointed out that I had gained "ATLEAST 2 KILOS"! OK then!!

Yes I have gained weight...like 3 kgs and am at a happy 54 kgs...I am happy with the way I look and NO I am not gonna start starving myself to look like a skinny version of myself; I love my curves too much for that and YES I am keeping them. 

I agree I look a little chubbier than usual (I always have puppy fat on my face that my mom refers to as natural botox for when you hit 40) but what totally surprises me that it hasn't been the women around me who seem to have noticed it BUT my GUY FRIENDS. So, what is this new obsession men seem to have with women and their weight gain? While this may seem like an isolated incident, it isn't. I have noticed over the past couple of years how Indian men seem react to women who may be a little on the 'heavier' (read those who aren't flat chested or emaciated by appearance) side, in a condescending manner. What is more disconcerting is when they have an opinion ready and waiting on how you could make your body look better by either dieting or starting a better fitness regime!

I get it. It is important to maintain your weight. But the reason you do it shouldn't be to give into societal (or male) pressure to look a certain way but to ensure that you are healthy. I work out but I have started running because I want to run the marathon next year and because I want to avoid getting arthritis as long as I can (as it runs in my family); I am not working out to lose my curves. I don't wanna look like a stack of bones. I looked like that while growing up when I was struggling to gain weight and looked so skinny that my friends called me chicken bones. I want to look the way I want to look, not how some men think I should look.

Pradeep Guha told me something very insightful long back when I met him in 1999, he said, "the best way to know if you need to work out is to stand in front of the mirror and see if your thighs meet. If they do...hit the gym! But don't go beserk with fad diets or skipping meals." It's about maintaining the right weight, it's about working out so you feel good (endorphin's a happy hormones!), it's about doing what is good for you. It is NOT about what people especially men think, it isn't about getting into a dress which you know would require you to crash your weight, it isn't about starving yourself. I would NOT starve myself for anyone or anything. I would rather eat everything but eat it in moderation. 

I don't want myself to turn into Jennifer Hudson, Victoria Beckham or Nicole Richie who seem to have totally lost the plot. I also am not trying to pull a Kareena Kapoor, who during the making of Tashan survived only on Orange Juice!! I admire Aishwarya Rai and Vidya Balan, neither hasn't let detractors stop her from being herself. It was very sad when both of them were panned for gaining weight or not looking like the skinny peers they have in the industry. They weren't admired for being themselves or for their acting prowess but for not following some stupid anorexia trend that started off thanks to Kareena Kapoor and her Size 0 act. Well! Look what happened; Vidya went on to star in some of the best movies of the year and Aishwarya still commands a huge fan following and earns the highest for endorsements. I admire Salma Hayek, Beyonce, Penelope Cruz, Christina Aguilera for embracing their curves and being proud of their bodies.

I am trying to be healthy and I hope all you women out there are working out to be healthy...and not to be someone that others around you would want you to be. So here is what I have to say to men who like to comment on women and their bodies..."Get a mirror...and if you think anyone needs to work out...maybe it is you. And even if you are a Ryan Gosling, why don't you spend your precious time doing something constructive rather than trying to keep track women and their weight gain. Last time we checked...you weren't the boss of us!"