What's networking really?

I am seated at the Willingdon and see an old acquaintance from my agency days (that lasted all of 4 months) and walk up to him. He greets me with surprise, shock, happiness, and lotsa big hugs and many many questions. Turns out he is now heading marketing for a well known company and is very excited to know that I have also been part of the same field for some time. I join him at his table and we gulp down a couple of beers; he introduces me to his friends and his lovely wife, who happens to run an event agency; turns out I am need of an event agency...so would she like to come meet me at work next week? Lo and behold! A working relationship has begun on a lazy Sunday afternoon by the pool side of a club. Did I just network?

Everyday we meet so many people. In transit, at restaurants  at movie halls, at parties - some we already know and most we don't, so when is it really networking? I know him, he knows her, so in the end I may get to know her too. When you meet someone you knew at one time or when you walk up to someone and start off a conversation when the person sees like someone you may want to get to know? It's both actually. It is about starting, maintaining and keeping relationships built in various settings and guiding them in a professional manner to ensure not only you but also the other party gets something positive out of the relationship.

Unfortunately in India networking isn't easy for women, thanks to all the social stigmas attached to a woman approaching a man and striking up a conversation (let's face it, this country has a much higher male workforce than female). It is very difficult to strike up a random conversation with a stranger unless you are at some common ground...such as an event or party that you have both been invited to. But I believe that it all depends upon how and where you approach the person. Let's say I am waiting for a friend at TGIF by the bar and there is a guy standing next to me and we exchange hellos. It will depend upon me if I decide to proceed with a conversation in a bar like setting or not. Usually conversations in such places are taken to be of personal nature, so it would be smarter of me to refrain from taking any further step if I am looking at professional networking. Now let's say I am at the airport in the lounge waiting for my flight and at the buffet table or coffee counter, I bump into another fellow traveler - it will be totally fine to say hello and start up a conversation and exchange cards.

Networking is not just about saying hello's and exchanging business cards. It is also about foreseeing any possibility of working together, common interests, learning experiences, knowledge gathering, etc. that may lead to opportunities at work and keeping in touch accordingly. It is important to follow through when someone, especially someone who is influential or in a stronger position professionally, asks you to schedule a meeting/bridge building/call. If you are looking at obtaining any knowledge (or work related contact) about that person's industry then it is totally up to you to keep in touch. Dropping a "hello email" or sending an invite for an event your company is hosting  are considered professional and OK. If you haven't met the person in an informal setting, don't even try to invite them over for dinner at your place (and if you invite someone you did meet informally; then make sure you invite a couple of other people too so as to make this new acquaintance comfortable).

Not every person you meet will turn into a usable contact immediately. At times you won't even know or realize but years later someone you met through a friend may become the person who gives you a tip about an excellent job opportunity or hires you even. So it is therefore very important to try and NOT burn bridges. If you do end up burning a bridge then be sure about it before you do the deed; there is rarely a case where it fences can be mended.

Networking shouldn't be taken too seriously  If you go out with the objective to network you could come across desperate or aggressive even; go with the flow. There is no hurry. You will make your presence felt and find the right contacts only when you are true to yourself and assert your confidence in the way you deem fit.

So go on...get outta here...go NETWORK!

Dear Sophie...this is your year...as a woman!

Hi, I realized this morning that I hadn't yet posted my resolve for the year onto my blog. Considering 2012 ended on such a gut wrenching note for all women in India, I had to re-post this from my FB page over here. So here goes...

Dear Sophie,

It is the 3rd day of the year and I thought you should think of what you resolve to do and not do. But then I realized that there is so much of pressure on you every year that you add to it with these resolutions, so wouldn't it be better to just NOT decide anything and REMEMBER things?

So I suggest just 3 things: 
1. don't over think
2. live each day as it comes (it could be your last), and
3. respect yourself for being a woman (you are lucky to be born as one...and let NO ONE let you feel otherwise).

I know life is busy...but don't forget Amanat and the other girls/women who are being brutalized every day. Even if friends and other tell you to stop your morbid/angry posts...DON'T...if you remain angry and demand something maybe some guy will hear and change one thing about himself.

At every opportunity you get, make noise about being a woman and DEMAND your rights! In every little action you do today and everyday...show that you love your gender and be proud of the other women around you. Don't be jealous when another sister does well...be proud of her and of yourself through her. Love your sisters around you...

This is your year Sophie...as a woman...make it count!

Me

RAPE.

It is a horrifying word. It scares every young girl, every woman, every mother, sister, friend. It is the worst form of violence against a woman. It is not about sex. It is about power. Or as another blogger put it...it is about assertion NOT insertion.

Are you scared? I am. I am very scared. 

Sad isn't it? A young 23 year old has been made into a hero when she wasn't even given a choice to be one. She was attacked and left to die (after going through minutes and hours of brutal torture) on the streets of Delhi while the rest of us slept safely in our homes. I think about it...I refuse to close my eyes and look away or not read the reports because I want to know, because I want others to know. She didn't ASK for it. No woman...not even a prostitute...ASKS to be raped. The media has begun reporting many more cases over the past few and days and it shocks me that I live in a country like this. A country that prays to so many goddesses and has so many temples in their name and yet brutally attacks its women.

I say teach the men who haven't yet become rapists. Treat us women equal to yourself and then see if we get raped. The morning when a mother gives her son a choice of his favorite breakfast and leaves her daughter out, that morning she creates inequality in his mind. Every day a woman is smirked at when she raises her voice against an eve teaser, that day inequality raises its head. When a young girl can't wear clothes of her choice because she is scared of being leered at, that day inequality wins.And what do we do with those who have raped? Kill them! Castrate them! Cut off their hands! Rape is not excusable. DO SOMETHING!

I appeal to the women out there, when you are out and about and you ever see a sister in need, reach out. Don't entertain any negative comments about another woman. Don't treat your daughter's differently than your son. Don't treat your daughter-in-law like an enemy. Don't bitch about your female friends. Don't pass judgement on a girl who doesn't look the way you think she should. Stand up for your gender.

This death...the death of a child of 23...let it not go in vain!

I am a dented and painted woman. And I will raise my voice every day as long as I live on behalf of Amanat!