While I was in school, I was taught by my teachers and elders around me that any girl/woman who wants to be taken seriously and respected needs to play the part - basically, speak in a particular tone of voice, not laugh too much and not be too open about herself to people, be self sacrificing, etc. etc. The 5 years I spent in the US helped shape me as a person and helped me realize that 90% of the advice I had gotten about being taken seriously as a woman was...well! not to be taken seriously.
When I got back I was pleasantly surprised to see a tidal wave of change sweeping through young urban India particularly among women who were now far more independent and outgoing than 5 years back. I was happy to be back to a new, improved and emerging India.
India has changed. We Indians have sped ahead in practically every area of life be it relationships, culture, jobs, art, film, etc. but have we as Indian women (including myself) broken free from the past? Do we still have a fear of perception that keeps us tied down to stagnant tradition, century old rules and self made boundaries. IBN recently did a news piece on career women in urban India who put their careers ahead of getting married; the survey was conducted on about 1,200 married, young working women and home makers in cities like Ahmedabad, Delhi, Bangalore, Chennai, Hyderabad, Kolkata and Pune and showcased how Indian women are now choosing the good of the self before the demand of the many (read family/society). If that is the case then why is it that it feels like most of our decisions are still made based on societal pressures? Why is it that there is a certain decorum that we still follow not because we are comfortable with it but because we don't want to give discomfort to those around us?
Have you noticed how conscious we single Indian girls over the age of 30 get when asked about why we aren't married yet? I know this is a challenge any single woman in her 30s anywhere faces but in India it is at another level altogether. Have you ever felt weird about dressing up for work - not just wearing the same simple salwaar or basic pant suit - but actually dressing up like you see so many women on TV when they are off to work? Have you felt obligated to play the perfect host when hosting a dinner party for your husband's friends or yours even, cook the typical Indian food and spend the rest of the evening playing slave to the guests - not because you want to but because that is what is expected of you? Do you to go to your place of worship because you want to connect with God or is it because you are expected to coz you are a good Indian girl? Do you fast on Karvachaut in the name of religion and tradition because society dictates you do it every year for your husband's long life or because you want to?
You might be wondering what I am trying to get at? No. I am not trying to get some bra burning protest started here. All I am trying to understand or figure out is whether Indian women are free of Indian perceptions? If we do, what we do, because we want to or is it because that is what is expected in our society? I find myself questioning my own decisions of late and many times realize that I end up pleasing others because of these perceptions.
Just putting a thought out there.
When I got back I was pleasantly surprised to see a tidal wave of change sweeping through young urban India particularly among women who were now far more independent and outgoing than 5 years back. I was happy to be back to a new, improved and emerging India.
India has changed. We Indians have sped ahead in practically every area of life be it relationships, culture, jobs, art, film, etc. but have we as Indian women (including myself) broken free from the past? Do we still have a fear of perception that keeps us tied down to stagnant tradition, century old rules and self made boundaries. IBN recently did a news piece on career women in urban India who put their careers ahead of getting married; the survey was conducted on about 1,200 married, young working women and home makers in cities like Ahmedabad, Delhi, Bangalore, Chennai, Hyderabad, Kolkata and Pune and showcased how Indian women are now choosing the good of the self before the demand of the many (read family/society). If that is the case then why is it that it feels like most of our decisions are still made based on societal pressures? Why is it that there is a certain decorum that we still follow not because we are comfortable with it but because we don't want to give discomfort to those around us?
Have you noticed how conscious we single Indian girls over the age of 30 get when asked about why we aren't married yet? I know this is a challenge any single woman in her 30s anywhere faces but in India it is at another level altogether. Have you ever felt weird about dressing up for work - not just wearing the same simple salwaar or basic pant suit - but actually dressing up like you see so many women on TV when they are off to work? Have you felt obligated to play the perfect host when hosting a dinner party for your husband's friends or yours even, cook the typical Indian food and spend the rest of the evening playing slave to the guests - not because you want to but because that is what is expected of you? Do you to go to your place of worship because you want to connect with God or is it because you are expected to coz you are a good Indian girl? Do you fast on Karvachaut in the name of religion and tradition because society dictates you do it every year for your husband's long life or because you want to?
You might be wondering what I am trying to get at? No. I am not trying to get some bra burning protest started here. All I am trying to understand or figure out is whether Indian women are free of Indian perceptions? If we do, what we do, because we want to or is it because that is what is expected in our society? I find myself questioning my own decisions of late and many times realize that I end up pleasing others because of these perceptions.
Just putting a thought out there.
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